Many of us in SL portray ourselves as separate entities, or an extension of the real self. But did you ever wonder if sometimes it was the other way around? Yes, GoSpeed is fictional. Even here on this blog there is no RL intrusion so the waters of fiction and unreality still flow undisturbed and pure. Something happened the other day that drug me out of world and had me face some very weird circumstances. It made me ponder, how much of GoSpeed is GoSpeed and how much is it the keyboard operator steering me? Where is the line between the two (if there even is one)? Let me tell you what happened:

It was a Thursday night and I was talking to LaDonna Upshaw, a very dear friend of mine. I was testing out one of her new couches as she was building pieces for a coffee table when it happened. The normally sharp, crisp sight of her house suddenly went soft, fuzzy, the dark. It quickly passed and light returned to my eyes. Everything changed, the world was soft and muted, but infinitely detailed. Before me was two monitors and a keyboard. I saw scraps of paper with scribbled notes, business card, speakers, a cellphone, sunglasses, a coaster with a border collie picture. A look to the left, another computer, running KONA Radio! I had only seen the SAM3 interface remotely before. Or did I? A Look to the right, another computer,powered down. My hands! Black, feminine with red nail polish. I look down and see my arms, the rose tatoo on left bosom, my lap. I am here! But where was I? Sounds! Music! It’s is KONA Radio coming from the speakers, and from the headset sitting on the computer to the left. I feel! My right hand settles and touches the keyboard. It is stiff, but gives under pressure with a clicking sound. It was then I noticed the screens again, on the left was a black and white picture of me!
A Mill Pond memory

Then the other screen gets my attention. Oh, sweet, Jesus. It is a window into my world. I am on the other side. I see LaDonna typing away, lines of text filling the lower half of the screen. She’s typing to me. “Go, are you still there? Are you OK? What’s wrong with your avatar?”

My avatar, MY AVATAR! I then spot myself still on the couch. “I” am still sitting but “I” am ghosted, transparent even. My animations were off and “I” was froze. Dear God, what am I now? No, No, I am here. Am I? The enormity of the situation hit me, and I felt it as a wave of feelings. Physical too as I grew weak and felt a touch of what? Fear? The word adrenaline popped into my head. My face, my armpits began to sweat. I am out of my proper place!

I hear a voice. A child’s voice and footsteps coming up stairs. “Mom!, Dad!… Can I go outside to play!” WHAM! Darkness. Back on the couch. The world became sharp, bright, colorful again. I look up at LaDonna and see her standing over me in a posture of concern, still typing away. “LaDonna, I do not know what happened. I cannot explain it”. Maybe lag? Yeah, that is it, lag.

What did happen? I am left to ponder…….