Chapter 5 – Tears
I felt full. It felt rather good actually where as hunger hurt, made me weak. I pushed away from the table and stood up. Funny, standing up in a fluid motion. I am so used to just popping out of chairs and snapping into place when I sit. Eating was a pleasant but weird experience. I’ve never eaten before but I somehow knew how to do it. It was like I was programmed to know. But I knew why I knew. Coming to terms with that was the hard part. Damn! All this thinking! Will my mind ever stop? I was so used to being led along and directed. Someone else made me move,thought for me, spoke for me, gave me a life. Now, I was in charge and I felt so lost. I was also a woman but I am pretty sure I was no lady! Sigh, was I destined to be a freak here?
Rav and Iza were murmuring quietly with each other while Sarah kept her eyes on me while I ate. I smiled at her and she beamed right back at me. Children weren’t that common on the grid. Even then they were adults who pretended to be young. Sarah was a genuine child and a sweet one at that. At least she was “born”, I was created. On the grid I was pieces and colors. Polygons shaped my body, textured draped my skins and clothes, and I wore prims for hair, shoes and jewlery. I tugged at my T-shirt and it was loose. I could slide a finger under the sleeve no problem. I rubbed my left foot against my right and the right shoe came off. It came OFF! I stared at it, waiting for it to vanish. Is there autoreturn here? I giggled at the thought. They have an 8 year old child so they better turn it on! I also noticed I had distinct toes. Oh! I could wriggle them too!
“Go, do you have a wallet or purse?”, Iza asked me. I shook my head no but then remembered my Lo-Lo purse. As I sat down again the purse appeared under my left arm. Rav just shook his head and said, “I think that validates her story. This is not normal, no one can simply materialze objects out of thin air.”
Suddenly a yellow squirt gun appeared on the table. Sarah grabbed it and began shooting me! Rav quickly grabbed it took it away to Sarah’s considerable protestations. Then a medicine bottle appeared and dropped to the floor making a loud fart sound as it landed. I kicked the bottle and it made another fart sound. Heh heh, so funny!
“Take it off, now!” commanded Rav. As I took it off my shoulder it recalled what it could do. This purse also drops bricks, kitchen sinks, and condoms. Too late, a Trojan condom still in its foil wrapper dropped to the table. I held my arms out as if to say “Don’t touch it!”
“Nobody touch it, we don’t need sheep running around the house!”, said Rav.
“Go, you have got to be really carefull what you rez here, they can cause real damage. No guns or weapons of any sort. No horses, no sailboats or starships. If you rez something big it could tear up our home. We don’t have phantom walls here Go!”
One by one the objects disappeared, squirt gun, pill bottle, and condom. I wonder, would a real sheep appear or a stuffed doll? Maybe next time I”ll find out.
I left the purse on the table as we retired back to the family room. I sat back down on the couch and leaned my head back, looking at the ceiling. Rav tapped me on the shoulder and handed me the laptop. No, not now I gestured. I put both my hands to my head and shook it. This was getting to be too much. I was getting overloaded with information; words, thoughts sounds, sensations, eating, smelling, tasting. I just needed quiet. I closed my eyes, but the tears came anyways. I cried, softly at first, and the sobs got louder and deeper as I let go of my pain. Every sob releasing my pent up fears and frustrations. Sarah
quickly hoped on the couch and put her arms around me, hugging me. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back. Rav and Iza came up to me, Rav kneeling and Iza on my side. Rav held a free hand and Iza placed a hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me with words.
“GoSpeed, it’s OK. Youll be fine”, said Sarah, trying her best to cheer me up. Iza handed me a tissue as I blew my nose. Blew my nose, yet another weird thing I had to deal with. This is so hard. I just want to log off. I closed my eyes and concentrated but I could not see a menu to even log off with! I’m stuck here, great.
“Go, do you want to lie down and rest?”, asked Iza.
I nodded my head yes and focused in my mind on the inventory menu. Pajamas, yes, I have a few pair. I selected them, but before I wore them I crossed my legs and folded my arms across my chest. I think the last change of clothes upset them. I followed Iza up the staircase. Boy, so many steps, and it’s work to walk up them! She led me into the guest room and showed me the bed. I was half expecting pose balls when the sheets were pulled back. I slid into bed, marvelling at the softness of the mattress and and coolness of the sheets. The coolness faded away to be replaced by a comfortable warmth as I lay still in the bed looking up at Iza.
“If you need something, come get us. The bathroom is the first door on your right.”
I smiled a “thank you” to her and she left the room, closing the door behind her. I rolled to my right and looked at the tree shadow on the shade and closed my eyes….. darkness….